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The biggest fetish/BDSM community, fetlife, isn't a dating site and there is not a search engine designed to find matches. I'm young, fit, everything good, but I don't know where to advertise myself where my type of women will see me.Try Collarspace.com, large dating site, and Fetlife.com, the latter will give you information about local events as well , amongst other things.

But if you are a dominant male looking for more than playing in the semi-public scene with women who are already attached but allowed to "play," you are also facing extreme odds.

Most of the single submissive females on Fetlife who are not under 25 range from extremely overweight to obese.

be polite, and friendly, like you would be if you were to meet someone at a party. They make me hate myself more than anything, no one ever messages you.

Don't just go "hey i want this and that, and you are sub, so you have to give it to me. Your search results with collarspace are limited to say the least, and there are plenty of scammers there.

If you are not hot but personable, networking within the community can eventually get you play.

Starting with pros can gain you credibility; most dommes don't want to waste time on total newbies.The biggest shame as Alt.com/AFF bought and closed it down. Many other sites follow this model, like Femdom Dating, which also fills your mailbox with messages trying to get you to pay so you can read them. So if you are much over 30 you may not generate much interest. It too is mainly younger people, but many appear to be real and there is a large number with dating profiles. And if you are a submissive male there are 10 zillion for every eligible female.And all of them are from hot young women, by their photo, looking for a slave to worshi8p them, although they live thousands of miles from you, are young enough to be your daughter, and won't reply to your messages, since they do not really exist. Church of Chains uses the same interface, but I do not know if they are at all related. It is international, mainly Dom Male and sub females but there are the opposite orientations too. So you have work cut out for you if you expect to be noticed at all.Be careful, a lot of ignorant people and some scammers on Collar Space. Fetlife is more like facebook for kinksters, with a lot of bells and whistles.it is not specifically a dating site, but no one objects if you contact people that look interesting. Some advice : first of all, no *censored* picture for your profile picture. second, if you contact someone that looks like you someone might want to talk to don't be an ass about it. Mistymouse ( my nym on either site) I have had 0 luck with Collarspace and Fetlife.If you post in the forums on fetlife it gives you the chance to engage intellectually with people, which can lead to meetings.